Scared

Its been about 2 months since the devastation of yet another failed cycle but the last one was far worse as it was a donor egg cycle and to say that I got my hopes up is an understatement.

At this point, I still have 1 x fair quality blast left in the freezer from that cyle and I am not sure what to do about it. I went to consult with a different specialist who wants to send me for a million tests and hysteroscopy and he thinks a new donor will do the trick. My eggs are out of the question according to him. According to me…it seems my eggs and donor eggs didn’t work, there must be something wrong in the womb and if that is the case we should be able to give my eggs another try don’t you think with a full immune protocol.

I really don’t want to do another donor egg cycle tbh. I just don’t. We have been chatting about using a surrogate lately but never got to any real kind of point.

If I have to be brutally honest, I don’t want to do any more cycles at all BUT I still want a baby desperately. I just wish someone could leave a baby on my doorstep like they do in the movies and that will be that.

In other news, I have started working out. Starting weight 73kg

Today 71.7kg

Yay, but I cant really walk . lol

 

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8 thoughts on “Scared

  1. I’ve been in the same place….tried donor eggs and miscarried and started questioning the donor eggs, wanting to try my own eggs again. But eventually I decided that I wanted the best best chance of success and in my case, that meant young, healthy, proven eggs and so we went forward again with donor eggs. Out of interest, where are you in sa and who is treating you? My doc was very open to an immune protocol and was well read on all the latest science. I never felt I was getting substandard care and felt I would have received the same care in a first world country…. I have been at vitalab in jhb.

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  2. Thank you for your reply, I know you are right about the very best chance but its sooo expensive and not to mention stressful. It was such an emotional rollercoster. We got the beta results an hour before DH and I were headed out for our first anniversary dinner. What a memory. Needless to say, I had 1 too many.
    We are in cape town. The last consult I went to was with cape fertility and he says DE only. I have wrote to Prof at Aevitas and waiting to hear from him. Meanwhile I don’t know what to do with that single blast in the fridge

    What was the results with the second donor?

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    1. I am so sorry your cycle failed. It is so frustrating seeing something work for so many people and fail for you. That is exactly what my donor egg cycle was like.
      Please pop back in and let me know what the new clinic has to say.
      Best of luck

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    2. Oh my word, the expense is unreal. In fact that is partly why we continued with donor eggs.. we had frozen eggs already (so dsme donor) and would have had to spend more on another retrieval if we used my own eggs. Why does your doc think that a new donor would be better?

      I am actually currently 10 weeks pregnant from our last attempt… we used various different things but most notably, two months of lucron which puts you into a state of menopause, intrallipid injections, prednisone and clexane (a blood thinner). In my opinion that blast you have is very precious and in your shoes I would want to know that you are doing things differently to give you the best chance of a different outcome. I hope you get some answers or ideas from the profxxx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sending you lots of strength and love. I got the immune testing and did the intralipids, steroids etc for my third IVF and it still failed! Was so sure it would work. Now I’m also left feeling confused and not sure what to try next. We have an appointment at another clinic for a second opinion. I have heard lots of stories about the immune protocol working for other women though so it could be something that would help in your case. Best of luck to you going forward

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so sorry your cycle failed. It is so frustrating seeing something work for so many people and fail for you. That is exactly what my donor egg cycle was like.
      Please pop back in and let me know what the new clinic has to say.
      Best of luck

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  4. I’m so sorry to hear of your struggles. I can’t imagine how hard it is to decide whether to keep going with donor eggs or not. I do think it’s great that you’ve started working out though. That’s definitely going to be a good thing however you look at it. Sending positive thoughts and best wishes!

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  5. I’m so sorry. I had two PGS FETs fail and I felt similar. We’re now trying with donor eggs + immune protocol but suspect there is something unknown and wrong about my body which will never be discovered. I have surrogate at the back of my mind but haven’t ever talked to my husband about it. After 3 failed ivf I do find that exercise is the best way to recover….to take back control of your body and focus on what it can do rather than can’t do. A friend of mine has recently been diagnosed with MS and it really put things in perspective for me. Sending hugs XXX

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