by ivfsiren

It just gets worse…

Getting DH on board with the last cycle was already a mission on its own. I chugged along on my own and basically only had him along on ER day obviously.

Last night we had a chat about the next step. I want to try DE IVF, he wants to think about it. He wants to know when am I going to make peace with the fact that it is just not happening and that he is approaching 40 and the idea of being a 50 year old with a 10 year old kid is not appealing. WHAT THE ACTUAL F&CK. Needless to say, I lost it. He knows how important this it to me. I cannot imagine going through the rest of my life without a child. He seems to be quite happy with it just being the 2 of us and his son on the weekends. I don’t want that at all.

I have given him 2 weeks to think about it (he is a major procrastinator and will drag this out till I am completely barron). What if he says no. I don’t think I could live with it and if I did I will resent him for it.

 

11 thoughts on “It just gets worse…”

  1. I’m so sorry, what a shitty situation to be in… I hope you can work it out soon… sending you e-hugs xx

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  2. It’s different for him as (if I understand correctly) he has a child already. So he has the parenthood thing covered and you do not. It is somewhat selfish of him not to consider your desire to be a parent, but it’s his right to decide whether or not he wants to be a parent [again], just as it is yours.

    These things are so difficult and I think if it’s fundamental to your wishes then you need to follow that desire. But it is much harder if the person you are with doesn’t share that desire. It means you need to pick between your relationship and your pursuing parenthood. I have friends who have picked one or the other and I myself had this as part of my decision to break up with my ex.

    I hope you manage to find a solution. X

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    1. Thank you Nara. This is exactly what I told him – He has a kid and is quite content with just him but its not enough for me. He knew when he married me that having a family of my own was priority #1.

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      1. From the outside, that seems really harsh – unless he made it clear at the time there were limitations on how far he would go in terms of helping you to have a family (and being a part of that family). I hope you manage to figure something out. X

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      2. He didn’t and that breaks my heart. To be fair we have gone through 5 failed ivf cycles and he has always been there. It is a difficult situation. Thanks for the support

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  3. Everyone has their breaking point, and the moment when they decide enough is enough. I pray that he can hang on a little longer for you! It’s gut-wrenching that you aren’t on the same page right now. Sending you hugs! xoxo

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