The Beginning

Its 3.21pm in sunny Cape Town. The year is coming to an end and work is getting more and more quiet. God help me, this is not a time I need to be idle.

We are planning IVF #5 (#4 if you don’t count cancelled cycles – I do cause they still cost money lol). I have literally gotten to the point where there is nothing left to google…. I’m sure there are some veteran out there who know exactly what I am talking about. You can only google RIF, embryo glue, Pergoveris vs Gonal F, donor cycles, is my AMH normal? , Am I normal? so many times. I have self diagnosed so many times, obsessed about other peoples cycles on forums – looking for similarities, for anything, for some hope.

Other than the fact that I have no fallopian tubes due to THE most bizarre ectopic in history – that is a blog on its own – we suffer from the infamous unexplained infertility.

The problem with this is that it drives you nuts. There is no problem to solve. No peace to be made. You want to try everything and anything.

I, obviously, know exactly what these professional fertility specialist are doing wrong. After all, I have a google degree that I have worked towards for the last few years. Yet nobody wants to listen to me…. They all know better. Lol Ok seriously, I really do think I know what is wrong but for very legitimate reasons the embryologist and I seem to disagree on the steps going forward. I believe that we are missing my implantation window and we should do a freeze all cycle. The reason I think this is that with each of the failed cycles, I have never reached beta stage. I get my period 1 week after transfer EVERY SINGLE TIME. I also think that I have trouble absorbing the progesterone on a side note. The embryologist wants to do a day 2 transfer with embryo glue – my AMH level is on the low side and have never had more than 6 eggs usually only from one ovary, she is scared that is we freeze all that none will survive the thaw. At this point I would rather have nothing to transfer than go through another full failed cycle.

On that note, I will end this off.



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